How to deal with awkward situations (badly)
by AliveO
Summary: A Guide to failure by Ezra Bridger. Inspired by any and all awkward humour fics in this fandom. Details of Ezra's journey through teenage problems and continuous teasing about them.
1. A hair-raising tale - Part I

**A/N - This oneshot is partially inspired by the awesome story 'Razor Burn' by UnfathomableFandoms (beta'd by RadicalCat) and my own experience as well :P. I love writing this whole awkward genre, mainly because I can relate, but especially with some annoyed Ezra thrown in for good measure.**

 **This story will be a multitude of short oneshots all in the same timeline as 'Use the Force, Bridger' (about two months afterwards). So you can call it a sequel if you want, as it will reference that. Although this story will be a bit... Cleaner (but not by much ^-^).**

* * *

A normal morning aboard the Ghost.

Kanan was up uber early trying to fix the kaff machine, so he could get his fix before going into withdrawal. A drowsy Hera was in the cockpit trying to lure Chopper out of his charging station with the promise of an oil bath - one that was never fulfilled. Sabine was still painting a new mural in the commons from the night before, which despite her best efforts, was still unfinished. That left Zeb and Ezra, who were always last up. The rest of the crew knew about Zeb's sleeping patterns - Lasan had a very short day, so many of the species slept for over 15 hours at a time. Ezra on the other hand, was a human teenager, with some of the most erratic sleeping patterns in the galaxy - sometimes it would be spark out before the sun even set, and awake before it rose. Or it would be eyes wide open until the early hours, and then unconscious for almost 20. Today was one of the latter, and it wasn't until Zeb arose _loudly_ that Ezra actually slid his eyelids open to peek into the brave new world of breakfast.

Stumbling awkwardly off the ladder on his bunk, the kid soon found a pair of lounge pants and a vest to slip on while he was still waking up. Regaining his balance, Ezra sauntered through the door and yawned as he entered the small kitchenette the Ghost had, where the rest of the crew had united around the plastisteel table attached to the floor.

"Mmm, Anyone got some waffles? Cereal maybe?" Ezra slurred in a drunken sounding tone. The crew had noticed he kept waking up sounding like he'd been drugged, but asked no questions on the subject.

"Yeah, sure kid. Want some Blue milk too?" A feminine voice asked. Ezra rubbed his eyes lightly as his vision adjusted to the bright light.

"Ya, sounds -" He yawned again, loudly "- sounds great." He finished, satisfied. Grabbing a bowl and spork, he took a seat at the table and started helping himself to the triangular waffles that had been prepared, not noticing the amused looks he was getting from his fellow shipmates. It wasn't until he heard a muffled giggle from Sabine that he looked up.

"What is it?" He sounded genuinely puzzled, "Is there something on my face?" His brow furrowed and he glared towards Zeb. "What did you do?"

"Well there's something on your face, kid. But none of us put it there." replied Zeb, with the ever-present pisstaking tone Ezra had grown _sooooo_ fond of, gesturing just below his nose, but above his upper lip.

Ezra's hand immediately shot up to where he was indicating too, accidentally applying too much force and slapping himself a little, earning a quiet 'Oww' from him and a murmur of laughter around the table. He started feeling around the area, and it felt weird - almost _furry?_ \- His eyes widened as his waking mind realised and he blushed a violent red. The rest of the Rebel band saw his reaction and laughed loudly.

 _Really? A cheesy Tache? Ahh, leave it to puberty to sort out the most uncomfortable situations for a kid._ Ezra thought to himself, maintaining his frown. Sure, his crew were a nice bunch but boy, could they be a pain up the backside.

"Ok guys, fun's up. Time to get back to maintenance. Let the kid marvel at his facial hair in peace." chuckled Hera, earning what could only be described as a 'grateful frown' from Ezra, still clutching his face. "What? Just trying to save your blushes, we don't want _another_ embarrassing incident again now, do we?" Ezra's frown deepened, and any gratitude was lost. He didn't want that whole escapade in anyone's recent memory, let alone them all actively teasing him again.

The crew however took pity and sifted out, leaving Ezra in relative silence to mull over his waffles and think about asking to borrow someone's Razor.

* * *

 **This story is purely for fun so expect updates to be erratic, but fairly often, as I enjoy this style.**

 **Depending on whether I feel the Mystery piece I'm working on becomes successful, that'll be my predominant focus for now. But if I don't enjoy writing it, I'm switch over to this guy.**

 **Cheers for your continued support!**

 **\- AliveO.**


	2. -Update-

**A/N - Sorry for my (somehwat longer than I anticipated) break. As most of you know, school is a b*tch, and I've not had much time off to do, well, anything really, until now. I'll be updating Awkward Situations mostly, but don't get scared if a new story pops up here or there.**

 **See you in the cyberverse!**

 **\- AliveO**


	3. Cracked and Broken - Part I

**A/N - Thanks to all of you beauties who reviewed, loving the feedback, and I've updated the credit in the first chapter to include your beta, UnfathomableFandoms.**

 **Also, sorry for my inability to post anything within 2 months of each other, I blame TV.**

 **Anyway, this chapter string is inspired by some of my own disastrous experiences and some moments in the actual show as well. Enjoy!**

* * *

Gathered around the Dejarik table for a briefing, the Ghost's crew were chatting amongst themselves as Kanan got the holo ready.

"So, kid. How'd the trim go? You not need a weedwacker after all?" joked Zeb. He felt a moral obligation to get in some light jabs at Ezra about, well, pretty much anything.

"No, Zeb, I'm fairly certain that magnitude of shaving equipment is reserved for your repulsive pits." The sparky reply earned Ezra a scowl from the Lasat, but their small feud was cut short by the start of Kanan's brief.

"OK team, this time we've got a bit a of a tricky one. Three steps" Kanan's speech was about as succinct as possible " one, distraction - but non explosive, Ezra?" Sabine visibly sulked, she didn't like the lack of unstable chemicals.

"Sure, what do we need? Electronics wipe out? False alarm? That sorta thing?"

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of containing the guards you were a lost kid and needed their help." Kanan's eyebrow raised as Zeb facepalmed.

"You sure that's wise, boss? I know he gets the pity role down to a t, but surely the Skakoan affliction might give him bit of a problem." Zeb pitched in, seeming, for whatever reason, concerned about Ezra.

"Sorry, Zeb, what's a Sk _a_ \- Skako _a_ \- Skakoan affliction?" almost answering his own question, Ezra's voice cracked at every attempt he made to say the word.

"Yeah, kid. 'fraid the Imps won't buy a lost child if that child sounds like their pressure suit is malfunctioning all the time, kinda gives away the nerves." Zeb smiled, the kid had recently been annoyed by the unfortunate lack of control he had over his own voice. It was almost as if every other word would end up a few octaves higher that the rest of the sentence.

"I see what you mean Zeb, nerves would only make it worse - might begin to sound like the end of an opera" Kanan imitated a wobbly voice tunelessly singing a few notes, much to Ezra's discomfort, who'd grown quite an uncomfortable look on his face. Sabine just giggled.

"Anyway, back to your briefing, Kanan" piped in Hera, becoming quite concerned at his lack of control.

"Ya, ya. Just messin around, fairly certain Ezra can control himself long enough to convince a Buckethead or two anyways. So, Zeb I want you on the south entrance, watching the exit for any Imperial..." The briefing continued much like normal, and the mission was soon upon them.

* * *

 **20:00 Hours, approximately 30 kliks from Capital City.**

* * *

Ezra anxiously approached the pair of troopers stationed at the gate of the complex, his mind furiously racking through things he might say. The pressure was hardly off either, Sabine had made a point of attaching a hidden camera _somewhere_ on his jumpsuit while she was doing the laundry, so she watch him try and persuade a pair of numb-headed guards that he was some kind of useless child, the job description of everything he tried not to be.

Ezra decided, without considering the obvious, that he should try and put on a slightly higher pitched voice when addressing the Stormtroopers.

" _Hey there_ , I was wond _ering if_ you could _help me get home_? " His rather futile attempt at convincing the guards he was in some kind of trouble worked as a distraction, but not the original one Ezra had in his head. The pair simply took a moment to blankly stare at the 5' 6" kid in front of them and broke out into a fierce fit of laughter, very similar to the scenes later on when Sabine analysed the recorded footage.

"Maybe - if you'd used the donkey as - transport rather than adopting it's voice - you might be there now." one of the troopers squeezed out, as Ezra watched Zeb wink at him as he and Kanan snook through the barrier behind the troopers.

 _"They'd better appreciate this..."_ Ezra thought as he looked down to the floor.

* * *

"Well, aside from the fact everything went smoothly, that was a fairly routine Op" mused Zeb, as the crew gathered in the commons.

"Yeah, and nice distraction from our young protégé, too. I have to say, Ezra, I didn't think the imperials would go for your unique take on stand up comedy, but I guess it worked." added Kanan, patting a still reeling Ezra on the back.

"It wasn't Ezra's bone dry humour that cracked those goons up, take a look at this." Sabine smirked as she entered the room, cradling a Pad with the camera footage on it. Ezra grimaced as he heard his own crack-riddled voice play back through the poor quality audio from the camera. He didn't even need to look at the crew to note the badly-contained snigger, and simply continued to stare at a particularly interesting piece of piping.

 _Here we go again..._

* * *

 **Ohai there, so you managed to make it through the cringeworthy dialogue to the end, Eh? Well don't fret, I have a special task for all you lovely people. If anyone has an example of an embarrassing story or aspect that would fit this fic, please leave it in a review so I can throw the communities puberty problems at our favourite characters!**

 **I also have a crossover planned, something I wrote a while ago but have improved, so look out for that, too.**

 **Til we meet again!**


	4. A hair-raising tale - Part II

**A/N - So it looks like I'll be carrying on with the first chapter series this time, only today, it's not Ezra's face.**

 **Huehuehue.**

* * *

 _"After all the risky stuff I do, at the end of the run there's always that one damn thing that happens that means anything I did is void. And everyone 'gets a good laugh'. Enough I say! The next Op there'll be no incidents and_ _ **no. damned. voicecracks**_ _."_ Ezra often had self-contained monologues during his morning 'fresher trip, often discussing why 'everything was against him' or something else to the degree of melodrama he'd become known for amongst the crew.

The fifteen year-old turned off the water stream and clambered out of the small cubicle, mind still racing from the Senatorial debate just held in there. As sidenotes were, well, tucked aside, Ezra noticed his lower torso was unusually damp. Aiming his vision downward, he noticed a thin layer of dark hair covering just below his navel. Intrigued, he stopped for a moment to inspect further and realised the spread of thin blue covered not only below that still, but most of his legs too.

 _"_ Weird _,_ nevernoticedthatbefore." Ezra said beneath his breath. _"Although I guess I haven't been outta that damned jumpsuit in about 4 days."_ Before the monologue got into full effect once again, the blue-haired teen pricked his ears up at the sound of light metallic boots coming in his direction.

* * *

 _Seconds earlier..._

* * *

"Well, looks like I win again, Zeb!" Sabine proclaimed, although every time the kid took a shower, it seemed like she'd have to play Zeb at least 5 times before the water stopped running.

"Karabast! That piece is never that good on my side!" Zeb shouted in disgust as the gentle thumping of water ground to a halt.

"Sorry big guy, I gotta get to the 'fresher before the water cools down. Maybe next time, Eh?" Sabine said cockily as she darted off down the hall, towel in hand.

* * *

 _"Kriffkriffkriff."_ Ezra panicked as his eyes darted around the room, looking for his own wraparound towel. But it was too late.

Sabine squealed when she saw a flustered and naked Ezra, doing a fairly poor job of sparing his blushes.

"Jeez Ezra, I know you like, self-worship and all, but there ain't that much to brag about downstairs anyway, oh and you might want to move your hand to the left. Pick up ya damned towel too." The jovial, yet mocking tone of the Mandalorian shone through.

"Oh, kriff - S-sorry - Sabine - didn't hear you coming..." Ezra's brain was just lobbing words at this point, while maintaining the bright flush and pathetic balance as Ezra stumbled over various pieces of kit to try reach his red and white towel, all while Sabine simply stood in the doorway, elbow on hip, watching the embarrassed mess of teenager in front of her try to compensate for too many variables at once. Ezra of course eventually hit the floor, causing Kanan's laundry to leap onto his pouting face. A muffled groan could be heard through the fabric as he slumped in defeat.

"Well done there kid, real nice show you're putting on for Chop's holorecorder." Sabine teased as she moved towards the cubicle and Ezra, reunited with his clothing and towel, slowly stood up, sopping wet hair covering his forehead and brow. "Nice leg hair by the way." the Mandalorian quickly added as she slid the door across the 'fresher, causing Ezra to turn another shade of red and frown back at her.

At this point he didn't really care about Chopper's recording, and he went straight to his room, collapsed on his bunk and let out a long, pained sigh.

 _"Screw it all..."_

* * *

 **I felt like being extra nice - I mean cruel - to Ezra today, had a long day and someone needed to fall over. All fun and games on Thursday though, when I continue with the voice cracked scenarios. Yay! :D**

 **Til we meet again!**


	5. Feeling the Heat - Part I

**A/N – A bit of a more serious chapter…**

 **Haha, who am I kidding? I couldn't write serious if I tried *snort*.**

 **But on an ironically more serious note. Cannot apologise enough for the delay on, well, everything. Combination of feeling down after Legacy (highly personal reasons – don't ask, please) and work. But its a new year, and that means more activity! Woo!**

 **This chapter is a return to writing after God knows how long though, so don't be afraid to critize my ramblings or give any other feedback you want to.**

 **The following chapter and any subsequent ones on the same theme have been inspired by Chiibe's suggestion (growing pains – in case you'd forgotten).**

 **Now that's out of the way, enjoy the show, friendly persons!**

* * *

Ezra woke up groaning. It had been a long week. Hour after hour of back breaking work scrubbing Ion scoring off the Ghost's outer hull. There was so much of the black soot yesterday he began to wonder whether Hera deliberately flew through an ash cloud or two during the night. Leaning up from his deflated pillow, the teenager felt a sharp pain run straight down his lower back, causing him to yelp and drop flat again. Zeb shot up from under his bunk, with a worried look etched onto his face.

"You ok there kid? 'nother nightmare or somethin'?"

"No, Zeb. I actually slept ok for once, my back is absolutely killing me though." Ezra replied, with a slightly curled lip, just about showing his discomfort.

"Ahh, getting' old, eh? No worries, kid. Happens to everyone at some point."

"No, Zeb, I'm not old, my back just hu-aahh!" Ezra cried out as his back protested against the sudden reaction to the Lasat's comment.

"You sure? Sounds like it to me. I'll see if I can grab some of that heat cream from the store closet for ya. Back in a mo'." Zeb swiftly left their room and sauntered into the commons, where he found a snoozing Hera.

"Boo!" he snapped at her face, getting a deathly glare from the Twi'lek captain.

"Garazeb Orelilios! You should know better than to do such a thing!" She tried to shout at him, but soon gave up and broke into a lighthearted chuckle. "What're you doing in here anyway?" She quizzed.

"Oh, just getting' some of that heat stuff for the kiddo, he's got 'back problems'" Zeb mused in a jovial tone.

"Oh, fair enough then. Make sure he doesn't use all of it at once though, that stuff can be pretty nasty if you put loads of it on." After her tutorial, Hera sank into reading the latest news updates, and Zeb strolled back through the cabin hall after retrieving the item from the closet with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Ok, got the stuff, kid. Hera said you gotta apply lots of it to actually get it to work, though." Ezra raised an eyebrow at the purple haired man, but soon took the gel and rubbed a palmful into the most painful spot on his back.

"Wow – uh – jeez Zeb, this stuff is really kinda hot. You sure I needed that much?" Ezra eyed Zeb, feeling an increasingly uncomfortable heat all over his lower back.

"Nope, and you might want to wash that stuff off before it really starts to get nasty." Zeb laughed and ran out of the room, leaving a fuming Ezra glaring wildly at the closed door. He tried angling his body so he could push himself off the bed and not cause another spasm in his back, it proved very difficult and resulted in a lot of choice language and yelps aimed at the meddling Lasat, but he eventually managed to amble his way into the fresher and scrub the offending cream off his back, and cool it down so he could apply a more reasonable amount.

"I will kill him for this." Ezra whispered angrily at the floor, making a b-line straight for the common room.

* * *

 **Hope that was fun :) Will get the next installment out by next Monday, if not Saturday. Stay tuned for Ezra getting his revenge on Zeb (or, at least, who he thinks is Zeb :-P).**

 **'Til we meet again!**


	6. Five Days of Flirts

**A/N – Decided to change things up a little, was feeling uninspired for the conclusion to the last chapter, so I've left that on hold for while. I got some great feedback last time (thanks to all that left some!) and I'm liking FarmerGirl55's idea, so here ya go! Hope its similar what you envisioned.**

* * *

 **Day One – Art Attack**

"Hey, err, Sabine, heh, whatchya up to?" Ezra squeezed out in his lowest voice. He'd noticed her room was open and was intrigued by the sounds of disapproval from within.

"What's it to you kid?" She said monotonically, looking back over her shoulder at a hopeful Ezra. She internally sighed ' _nothing worth my interest, for sure…_ '

"Well, er. Hmm… Just asking" He grinned sheepishly and the Mando rolled her eyes, knowing what he was trying to do.

"Look, kid. I'm just trying to paint, but there's this really annoying thing getting in my way." She said quietly as she approached the doorway slowly.

"And, err, what might that be?" Ezra said expectantly.

"You." Sabine frowned; exasperated, and shut the door in Ezra's dumbstruck face, returning to her work across the room.

" _Yay! Another successful attempt at conversation with an antisocial Mandalorian by Ezra Bridger._ " Ezra thought sarcastically. "Hmm, would make a good biography title...". The dejected teen plodded off down the hall, suddenly he felt quite hungry.

* * *

 **Day Two – A Wall**

Sabine sat at the dejarik table, reading a pad on new explosive technology and minding her own, quiet business when she felt a disturbance, an uncomfortably close disturbance…

"You're looking good today, Sabine." A recognisably intrusive voice could be heard from across the table, and she looked up, disheartened to see the same old blue-haired menace looking straight back at her.

"Thanks, kid." She returned, careful not to offer him any compliment back.

"I wish there was something between us..." Ezra whispered under his breath as he sighed, but not inaudible to Sabine, who smirked and leant in.

"Me too." She said excitedly, perking Ezra's attention.

"Really?!" He burst out.

"Yeah, hah, a wall." She replied, packing her pad up and walking off.

Ezra, red eyed, gave her a look of death before stopping quickly. " _I just can't hate her. Godamnit."_

* * *

 **Day Three (Lothal Stay Part I) – The Lunch Incident**

The crew were on a two-day stop on Lothal to restock and refuel. Kanan decided it would be a good idea to spend some alone time with his padawan in the city, so they could not only bond more in a Jedi capacity, but a familial one too.

After strolling around and joking for a while, they both got hungry and Ezra suggested they go to a restaurant that he said his parents met in.

After they'd both ordered, Ezra noticed a local girl about his age glancing at him from across the packed room. Leaning back in his chair he smirked as he caught her looking back over at him. Kanan took the situation in and shook his head.

"Look, kid, if your tries on with Sabine aren't going as planned I wouldn't risk it." Although knowing his advice would fall upon deaf teenage ears, he felt a duty to at least offer it.

A further five minutes passed and more exchanges of glances were made between the pair. Kanan decided it best to take a more passive role and let his student learn the lesson for himself. Ezra leant forward suddenly and uttered confidently:

" _I'm_ off to the bathroom." whilst winking at his Master, who just rolled his eyes and trailed his vision after the cocky padawan.

Ezra managed to keep eye contact with the blonde girl all the way from one side of the room to the other, before his foot came into sudden and unmerciful contact with a low step. Safe to say Ezra went flying and landed face first at the embarrassed girl's feet, although her awkward look was nothing in comparison to the critical damage to Ezra's ego.

"Uhm, sorry... I'll be off then." He blurted out awkwardly and fastwalked to the toilets. Leaving his flirt interest to silently giggle with her friends and Kanan busting his lungs out laughing at his padawan's fail of epic proportions.

Leaving Ezra to drown in his regret and clumsiness for a good ten minutes, Kanan entered the bathroom with a massive grin plastered on his face.

"Smooth moves, Mr. Spatial-awareness." he chortled out, being given a look of unrefined anger by the blue-haired, sullen-looking washbowl patron otherwise known as Ezra Bridger.

* * *

 **Day Four (Lothal Stay Part II) - Trainwreck**

After inadvertently showing the Lothal population his apprentice's knack for balance, Kanan decided it best to suggest to Hera that Ezra go with Sabine and Zeb on the next cargo trip, to take his mind off yesterday. He could still see the red on Ezra's face, for Force's sake.

The three 'kids' decided to take public transport, so as to arouse less suspicion around them. They found themselves a handy four-seat and table in one of the maglev trains. They sat in a moderately awkward silence, bar Ezra and Zeb occasionally hitting each other, and Sabine just eye-rolling at them.

On their second stop, an extremely attractive girl hopped in the carriage and sat in the booth opposite the triplet. Ezra stared gormlessly at her, while Sabine just frowned disapprovingly at the obviously hormonal boy and Zeb contained a snigger expertly when he saw his compatriot's expression.

About 30 minutes after the girl's arrival, she noticed Ezra's staring and smiled awkwardly at him. He took that as a clear-cut chance. In one motion, he slid out of his seat and into the one opposite her.

"Hi, my name's Ezra. What's yours?" He asked, with Sabine simultaneously slamming her head onto the table between her and Zeb.

"Umm, can I help you?" The innocent girl nervously replied, looking over at the teenager's two companions for some kind of support, but finding little.

"You, err, smiled at me."

"'Scuse me?"

"I saw you just smile at me, just then, right now."

"mmHmm, ok then." quickly losing her interest, Ezra struck up conversation again _masterfully._

"Am I bothering you? You wanna go back to you book, or?"

"No, its fine, dude."

"Where're you headed? I'm off to the market." He smiled cheerfully.

"I'm actually headed to see my boyfriend."

"Right..." Ezra twiddled his thumbs awkwardly and found the luggage compartments interesting suddenly. A snort could be heard from across the carriage and Ezra frowned heavily at Zeb.

"Who's that you're travelling with?" The voice made Ezra jump.

"Oh, those guys? The purple guy's my room mate and the girl's my – er – she's my, uh-"

"Sister. I'm his sister." Sabine shouted sternly, saving Ezra from publicly announcing his crush on her.

"Oh, right."

"Ah, looks like our stop!" Ezra jumped up from his seat and looked out of the door window. "Is it our stop, guys?"

"No, we've got another 5 to go yet, kid." Zeb chuckled. "This is gonna be fun." he muttered under his breath.

* * *

 **Day Five – Caution: Wet Floor**

The crew were back with the Rebel fleet after their stop on Lothal, and Ezra was trying to find the command centre. He came across some of the new officers in a hall.

"Hey, guys you wouldn't happen to know where the command centre is, would ya?" He asked politely.

"Why could you possibly need to get there, kid? How are you even on the ship, little dirty kid like you." Ezra frowned at the officer and crossed his arms.

"Have you even paid attention in _any_ of your briefings?" Ezra asked sarcastically.

"Cut the attitude, kid. I'm reporting an intruder." Ezra simply rolled his eyes.

"Wait, Jack." Uttered a feminine Coruscanti accent from behind the square-faced officer.

A girl equal to Ezra's height revealed herself from behind the well-built man, shaking her black hair.

"That's the Jedi Sato was going on about." She pointed towards Ezra, offering a smile.

"Really, Lynn? Doesn't look like much to me."

"What do you want as proof, then?" Ezra said, trying on his most macho accent (undoubtedly to try and impress 'Lynn')

"Well, I've heard the Jedi were quite athletic back in the day. How's abouts you sprint down this here corridor and back. Then we'll see."

"Sure." Ezra smirked and used a force run to launch himself down the corridor.

"That's so mean, Jack. You know he didn't notice the wet floor sign, you stood right in front of it."

Jack smirked as he saw the teenager hurtling towards them.

"See, No normal person can run that faaahhh!" Ezra's face changed into a look of terror as he found himself unable to stop before smashing head first into a shellshocked Sabine.

"Shoot, kid. I only came to look for you. Didn't need to smack into me."

Ezra groaned and rubbed his forehead, slouched miserably against the wall as he saw Jack keeled over laughing and Lynn giving him a sympathetic smile.

" _Great start to a working relationship, there, Ez. Good going._ " He thought to himself as the pain began to wear off and he followed an amused Sabine to the command centre.

* * *

 **A/N – I had all these written and decided to post them in one long chapter, because they were** _ **far**_ **too short to put in individually.**

 **I'll get that second part to** _ **Feeling the Heat**_ **up next week at some point, too.**

 **Until then, enjoy the new episode and the rest of your week, chaps/chapettes!**


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